


Fighting For a Chance (We've Come All This Way)

by orphan_account



Series: I Can Promise You Forever [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Arguments, Cas's Brilliant Show of Concern, Dean's Reckless Behavior, M/M, Making Up, Sam's good advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 04:31:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7560220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Our lives are so fragile; everything about us is so painfully weak, and anything could send us crashing down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TUMBLR: samgabe-deancas.tumblr.com

Dean lets out a deep sigh as Cas's fingers ghost over his torso, where bandages cover deep wounds. He sometimes got careless, and Castiel was sick and tired of seeing him come home every other week all hurt like this. The amount of physical pain involved in the wounds was reflected emotionally onto Cas. Dean hated it; Cas hated it, and he hated the fact that Dean's recklessness was all so righteous in his head, as if he thought he deserved it.

"You have to be more careful, Dean! I-I don't know what I'd do without you, I need you."

"I know, angel, but sometimes I get hurt. It happens." Dean's voice is soft, careful. Hesitant. Not wanting to set Cas off. Sadly, Cas's emotions were not subject to change. 

"No more of this, and if you can't promise me that you can just quit hunting. Or you can break up with me, if that's too much for you, too." There's fire in his eyes, worry igniting stress into irritability; Dean's never seen him this way. It's frightening to see such a calm, collected person look so.. Torn apart. 

"Cas, angel, I-"

"Which is it?"

"Damnit, Cas! I can't promise you anything, okay?" He takes a deep breath, calming himself. Can't have Castiel getting angry at him.

"No, not okay. I can't deal with this." He gestures to the set of bandages. "I can't." The former angel's voice breaks, and tears form in his eyes. 

"I know, and I'll be careful. I'm always careful, but I still can't promise you anything." He's still trying to make his words come out gentle, knowing that if he said anything other than the truth, it'd make things worse in the long run. With a huff, Cas is standing, taking a blanket from their bed with him as he leaves.

"Where are you-"

"Don't."The former angel said sharply, not looking at Dean. He was standing at the doorway, hand on the doorknob, preparing to close the door.

"What did I do?" 

The door slams, and Cas goes off to the couch, curling up on it and trying in vain to sleep. It was all too much; Dean being hurt a lot, the nightmares they both had regularly enough, the way Dean never held anything back, even if it'd be best to.

However petty it might seem to him later, it's too much right now.

It's just too much; this is the last straw.

Dean lays awake all night, tossing and turning and wincing each time he moved in the wrong way as the minutes on his digital clock flickered by at a painfully slow pace. He fucked up yet again, and he's pretty sure it's going to have serious consequences.


	2. Chapter 2

Nightmares flooded Dean's head the moment darkness settled around him, which was about the time the sun was rising . Without Cas there, he had no one, and when he awoke in a cold sweat, fighting to escape the prison of blankets tucked around him, the fear went on far longer than it usually did. He gasps for breath and throws the heap of blankets and sheet onto the floor, hands shaking and heart racing. "Cas," He murmurs, half expecting him to be there all of a sudden to calm him. "Cas, Cas, Cas." He spoke into the empty air, "Need you."

He eventually found himself nearly calm and as close to okay as he could be without his anchor to sanity. He stood, hesitantly making his way to the kitchen for water. On his way there, he noticed a sleeping form on the couch. Cas. 

Water forgotten, Dean made his way up to him, got halfway there, then turned right back around. He didn't want him, and he likely never would again. 

With his heart shattering and the shards tearing him apart, Dean went back to his room and collapsed onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling. God, would it kill him to omit things when he spoke to Cas? 

He didn't show up to breakfast or lunch, but he allowed himself to be dragged out of his room by Sam, who'd insisted on being their shrink.

"Okay, what's the problem here?" He asked, taking a bite of salad. 

"Dean's being reckless."

Sam nods, ignoring his brother's protests and denying. "Alright, Cas, let it go, and Dean, at least try to not get hurt."

"Don't I already do that?" He grumbles around a mouthful of burger.

"No." Sam and Cas replied in sync, "You don't."

"Fine, I'll try harder. Happy?"

No one replied, and the meal was finished in silence. 

That night, Cas made his appearance in bed, but layed on the opposite side of Dean, as far away as possible. Dean didn't object.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean found it much easier to sleep with Castiel there beside him, even though he was far away. At least the former angel wasn't in a different room where they couldn't hear each other if a nightmare were to occur. Speaking of nightmares, they seem to chase away each other's inner demons; they sleep peacefully when in each other's prescense.

At some point during the night, Cas's body searched out Dean's, and the hunter immediately enveloped him in his hold. Each time the former angel would inhale, Dean would exhale. Music in its own right.

The next morning, Castiel slowly opened his eyes, pressing himself closer to his hunter. This awoke him. He tightens his arms around him. "Hey, angel."

"Mornin' Dean.." Cas murmurs. 

Neither of them spoke for a long time, simply enjoying each other's company, but Dean broke the silence a several minutes later by saying, "Thought you were mad at me."

"I was, but now I'm not. Now I'm here."

"Alright, good."

"I was being stupid yesterday. You can.. You can do whatever you want, as long as you keep being careful. No more emotional recklessness."

"Okay."

"Wait, seriously?"

"Yep." Dean kisses the top of his head, "I've had my fair share of almost dying, don't plan on doing it again."

Cas looks up at him and presses a soft kiss to his lips. 

"That's good. Sorry about earlier."

"No, no, it's what I needed to hear."

Cas sighs. "Was it?"

"Yeah. Wouldn't listen to Sammy, he can't do anything. Needed you to say it. Needed you to tell me it's time to stop."

Cas hums in response, eyes closing. Several moments later, he murmurs a quiet, "Love you."

"Love you too, angel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I should just post these short chapters constantly, instead of one long one weekly.
> 
> Yeah, that's a good idea.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, I know.
> 
> There was a hiatus, I know.
> 
> Please don't hate me. 
> 
> I'm doing my best.

Breakfast was so late that morning it was nearly lunch. It was so late, in fact, that the meal was more of the latter than the former; burgers, coffee, and bacon Sam so generously supplied. "Glad to see you two haven't called off the whole marraige thing." The younger Winchester said as he set another plate of bacon on the table to replace the now-empty one. 

"Couples fight, Sammy. Can't avoid it." Dean replied around a mouthful of burger. 

"Well, you could have if you'd just-"

"Yeah, I know." Sam interjected, glaring daggers at Cas, who sighed and took a sip of coffee. 

* * *

Whilst cleaning dishes, the older Winchester mumbled the words to Bohemian Rhapsody, which was currently Cas's favorite song. The former angel's eyes lit up and he smiled at his hunter. Once the few dishes were put up, Cas spoke.

"I was just scared."

It took a moment for Dean to register what he meant.

"You were? Why?"

"I was scared of you being upset and getting seriously hurt beause of it."

"Oh, Cas.."

Dean wrapped his arms around the shorter man's waist, forehead resting against his. "Even when I get reckless, I'd never let things get too bad. Not when I'd be leaving you behind."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.


End file.
